The Prison of Your Mind.

The Prison of Your Mind

  This writing is not planned. It is not intentional nor will I backspace, I write as my mind speaks and, often, that can be dangerous. I am curious if I am the only one in the world I sometimes find myself living in. A world where I am king, but a severely meek king. A place where I could rule if I ever spoke the words in my head, but I know that my words are often more powerful then even I want to realize. 

I don't say any of this to seem like I'm some sort of powerful author. If you've read any of my writing you may have good reason to argue otherwise, reasons which are probably valid. The prison I'm talking about is so much more than a place where words fail to escape. It's a place where words wait for a sliver of daylight that, chances are, they won't see. A place where thoughts scream to be heard but screams are muffled by status quo and the thoughts lose their voices quickly. 

I wonder if we all have these type of prisons built into us. Places where our most creative, beautiful, amazing side sits, often times idle, wishing for escape. I wonder if musicians, not the people on the radio per say but real musicians, have songs that fight to come out. I wonder if writers have words that they can feel burning their way through their skin if they don't write for too long. If athletes long to run, if dancers have a part of them that lives off of the beat, or, maybe it's just me with the need. The inner me, the side that often goes unseen, arguably the best part of me, the part that I can feel fighting to get out The part of me that I know if people gave any time to show what it can do, they would give the kudos I all too often have to promise myself to make it through the day. 

I don't intend to sound depressed or like I'm some sort of abused soul, Lord knows I'm not. My point is a simple wondering; maybe there are others like me who feel the need to escape the mold of what they've built themselves to be. It doesn't seem too far fetched to me. Other people who have a part of themselves that they wish they could share or let out. I don't offer a solution. I have no remedy to the problem that is lack of self-expression. I just hope I can find it in myself to let out the part of me that I want everyone to see and I hope you can do the same.

The Journey We Have Made It To.

The Journey We Have Made It To

  I know few people who stay in the same city their entire life doing the same thing. I would even venture to say I know no people who do that. Most people, everyone I know in fact, move around at one point or another in life. Some people take vacations, some just call it "together time" with their family, but whatever it is, we all travel at some point in life, even if it's to another room in the house. 

What if it really is about the journey and not the destination? There are many people in the world and, chances are good, that there is more than one person somewhere who would give anything for your life. Maybe it's for the simple fact that you have heat in your house or, maybe it's just because you own a house at all. There are billions of people on this planet, what if your journey is someone else's destination? I don't want to play "what-if" games on my blog, those go on endlessly, but think about it for a second with me. There are so many things so many people take for granted. I don't want to sound like I'm insulting  person group or anyone really, that's not my intention at all, I don't want to insult anyone. 

Think about this with me for a moment, your daily tasks, be it your job, family, pets or whatever it is you do, that could well be someone else's dream. Even simply having a job to go to or a pair of working legs to rise upon in the morning is amazing. Your hell could possibly be someone else's heaven. Your silent, single life could be a prostitutes dream. Your endless list of business meetings is what a small business owner hopes to aspire to one day, making his little business worth having meetings about. 

I don't think we should feel good when our lives aren't what we want them to be, that would be silly. We have to keep our hopes alive and our eyes faced towards brighter horizons. At the same time, we have to remember, where we stand now, no matter how uncomfortable we may be, is the peak of someone else's mountain. We have to be willing to help others climb to the top while trying to reach our peak as well. 

I don't want to sound like all the world needs is for people to try to better others, there is a lot wrong with this planet, some things just aren't fixable by us. Situations often fall out of our control and sometimes things go too far. 

But I digress, I will save that topic for another blog.

The point I am trying to get across here is simply this: Don't spend all of your time on the mountain looking to fly with the birds. Don't spend all of your nights on the journey dreaming of the end. The sky can be lonely and the end comes swiftly. Enjoy every step, every stumble, every friend and learn from every enemy. There will be a day when you reach the top and just as swiftly will be the day you fall.--Mattaghetti

Les Miserables For Me?

Les Miserables For Me?

  It is easy to see where people get captivated by things they love or, things they "love" rather. I have many good friends with iPhones and Xbox's. PlayStation 3's and HD TV's but where does it stop? I'm not saying I'm opposed to any of those things, I own a few of them to be honest, but at what point does what we love become what we "love"? It seems to me the two things merge all too easily, allow me to explain. 

I met a girl over the summer who became a good friend of mine. She was into theater type things. She enjoyed going to dances (if it was a "Ball" it was that much better) she liked plays, musicals, big bands and ballet and she was good at the things she liked. She could act, sing, sing opera (which, in my mind, is a totally different thing) dance ballet and was overall an interesting person. The thing was, she loved the book/play Les Miserables. I can honestly say I've never seen the play or movie Les Miserables or read even a sliver of the book. My friend loved it dearly and, when she discovered I hadn't "experienced" any of the different forms of Les Mis' glory she was almost determined to beat it into my mind. She would sing songs from the play and when I asked what she was singing she would reply with an almost snobbish "oh, it's from Les Mis, you wouldn't understand" as if I had missed out on some sort of revival that would grace my spirit with a fantastic awakening as soon as my mortal eyes gazed upon Les Miserables. 

The book/play/movie Les Miserables isn't what today's blog is about per say, it's the idea that because we've seen, done or can do something differently than someone else we're better than others, which may be the reason I haven't pursued it any more to this day. The impression I've been left with from many iPhone users has been the same "Oh, you don't have an iPhone? That sucks" as thought there was some sort of incomplete chapter in life that could only be better with the purchase of an iPhone. The mindset isn't just for those things though, as you probably know. It reaches to whether we drive a car over a truck, we play Xbox instead of PlayStation or whatever we do, we get based because of it.

I do, in fact, plan on seeing Les Miserables when it comes to DVD format (I'm not big on theaters) but I think the mindset that because the group does something and, because we're with the group, we're better doing that thing, needs to be quieted. The problem isn't so much the "If everyone you know walked off a cliff, would you?" thought but it's "If everyone else paid for a bus ride up to the top of a cliff, would you?" which, in short, my answer is no. I get uncomfortable around heights so paying to hang out with people up at the top of a cliff doesn't sound like a good idea. iPhones, Les Mis, Nike shoes and any other thing people buy up because everyone else is are (usually) fine products to buy, the problem comes when we see someone who isn't in our same purchasing circle and we frown on them. People are free thinking (or should be) and we have to encourage that in order for people to find the proper religion, friends, career, media and life purpose as a whole.--Mattaghetti

High School: The Flames of Life and Love

   It's a funny thing finishing your senior year in high school, in some respects you know almost nothing, in other ways you know way more than a lot of people. There's the actual work you do (which sometimes feels like it never ends) be it school, keeping up with your family or your actual job. It's true, believe it or not, high schooled kids know a lot now. We see love, we see "love" we know lust, drugs, sex, money, lies, power, people who act like pimps, people who question themselves and moments that make us feel like we could hold the entire world and own it. The few years in high school we have we're quickly pulled from a world we were comfortable in and tossed to an ocean where none of the fish really know how to swim. Sure, some of the fish can swim for awhile or act like they can, but every one of them has had a time when they felt like they were drowning. It's a strange place, the life of a high schooled adolescent is, we find so many emotions so fast and with each emotion we're given we have a multitude of ways to handle it. When you find loneliness you can A: Find others to get rid of it. B: Drown it in a bottle or some other substance. C: Complain. D: Ignore it, tell yourself its a phase and you don't need anyone that badly anyway. The same rings true for all emotions found through out high school, be it love, lust, anger, happiness or whatever.    So, with that, where do we go? If we don't reach for love or happiness our hands will always find themselves being filled with something. We all have to reach over life's fire to grab love and hold tight. Sure, sometimes we get burned by the fire beneath us. Sometimes we even get a hold on love, real love, then we do something stupid and drop it into the fire, losing it forever. I remember a time not too long ago (I'm still a senior in high school as I write this so remember that) when I thought I had love, real love, and in fact, I did. I had found it, I would've done anything for the girl it went out to. The end of the story doesn't in happiness, unfortunately, not yet anyway. There weren't feelings being returned and in time (far too long of time but I  can be stubborn and learn slowly) I began to realize I had found what love felt like to give, but she wasn't ready for it. You have to accept people where they are in high school just as much as you have to accept yourself where you are, look at the situation and say (sometimes out loud) "who am I?" and "is this who I want to be?"  only you decide your placement in life, not your parents, not what that one idiot said about your face in 7th grade, you and only you. Thanks for reading! --Mattaghetti

Good Intentions

Good Intentions

  As my first blog it seems safe to say I don't have "the hang" of this, and in all honesty I probably never will. I accept feedback as well as thoughts so feel free to comment as you see fit. I hope that these blogs are a tool to whomever reads them as much as they are to me. A door handle to those looking to escape, an alarm for those looking to wake up, a journey to those looking for adventure and a blanket for those looking for warmth, I hope this blog is all those things. Maybe I'm aiming a bit high. After all, it's just me blogging to you, but what if that's all it takes? I'm hoping this blog is a window so that some people can see how they're not alone in all they go through. At the same time I want it to be a window so you can see into my life and laugh and cry along with me, after all, what good is a life lived alone? Personally I think it's a misused life. I start this blog with the best of intentions, the brightest view of the future and the highest hopes. If there is anything you have questions about, feel free to contact me. I look forward to presenting any readers with good times, rough spots and life as I'm experiencing it. Until the next post- Mattaghetti