Suicidal or Dead?

  I intend to touch on some serious subjects so let's start by reinstating what I said on my first blog; I write as I think, my thoughts grow as I add words to the page so stay with me until the end, then feel free to comment or disagree. That being said I wish to empty my mind so enjoy.

  Death, being as exciting and unpredictable as it is, is a very serious subject. Regardless of your beliefs of the afterlife or lack thereof death is separation from everyone you love. Even if you believe in reincarnation death still separates the person you knew from you. Death is serious part of life but, as I think I'm coming to realize, death surrounds everyone. Obviously it would be easy to say that death surrounds everyone because is the end of life; trees die, people die, even microwaves die, however that is not what I'm talking about. I wonder if there is a certain feeling of death that surrounds us or, maybe it is a sort of suicidal tendency. I by no means am implying that people are naturally given the idea of taking their own life; rather people seem to be exceptionally willing to give their own life for a variety of things. When it comes down to it everyone has something that propels them forward; an idea of what they want to be and with many people, at least everyone that I have ever met, that thing is something they would be willing to give their life for.

  I'm not trying to make light or death or suicide; they are both very serious and impact many people in a variety of ways; however, the giving of ones own life over to something is also very serious in my eyes. Allow me to give you an example: You are given two plants; both healthy and will stunningly beautiful once they bloom. With these plants come the instructions; if these plants die there is no way to replace them; they are forever dead. A serious portion of your life becomes devoted to protecting and maintaining your plants and making sure that when they bloom they're seen by as many people as possible. Turn that into real life; you only have so much time to ready yourself before you "bloom". Often people spend a large portion of their time making sure they have an audience to cheer them on for when they bloom, friends to support them until they do and a plethora of other types of people surrounding them and their life for the moment they bloom.

  Its easy to say "this isn't about suicide at all! Or hardly death even!" But reconsider what suicide is, taking ones own life... By using your time surrounding yourself with people to give you a social-high you are giving up your time (Your life) to make sure what you do is approved and accepted by others. I'm in no way saying to go through life alone or that is a good idea. In my years often it seems that the people that seem to be surrounded by friends are just as much alone as the people who are made fun of for being alone; the only things that separate people who rank in a different social class tend to be genetics or certain skill-sets; nothing serious.

  My mind is relieved and in the end it is this; No matter how much of your life you spend trying to make someone else care about you, notice you, appreciate you or even notice that your heart is beating make sure you do not give away your life trying to wiggle your way into someone else's. Everyone has a life and only one; don't give yours away so quickly, you need it.

--Mattaghetti